Fireworks!

I know I am a bit late at posting this but I wanted to share anyway. Almost every little sound scares vincent so we figured that the fourth of july would be full of screaming. We stayed in for a majority of the day. We could hear neighbors' and even the city's fireworks inside. Around 11pm Vincent still wasn't asleep and Jake wanted to shoot off some roman candles that we bought a while ago. I put vincent in the car seat and we all sat on the porch. Shortly after we went outside a neighbor about 4 houses down started shooting off more fireworks. I figured if Vincent was gonna hear them he might as well see them, so I turned the carseat so he could see. We expected them to scare him but once they finished he laughed for two minutes. When we finished with the roman candles and came back in Vincent fell asleep in a matter of minutes. The picture with the rootbeer bottle was taken at my friends, we were on the porch and I asked for a drink and she went to get it but in the mean time a garbage truck was going down the street so I was trying to calm him down with a toy. She handed me the pop and I just held on to it while calming him down and didn't realise it was so close to him.

A Year Ago Today

July 1st 2011, I woke up went downstairs and took a pregnancy test. It came back positive and I immediately started crying. I had no idea what I was going to do. My boyfriend automatically wanted to put the baby up for adoption. I agreed because there was so many people living in our house, the other kids weren't being taken care of. I didn't want to risk the baby being taken by children services. Another reason I agreed was because I didn't want to lose Jake, I didn't think that I could love anyone as much as him. Mid-July, my boyfriend's dad was constantly complaining about our decision. So we went out to dinner and discussed it. We decided we would keep the baby.

Today, Vincent turned four months old. He recently started rolling over. I don't think I could love.anyone more than him! :)

Nobody Warned Me

I always knew that babies suck on their thumbs but little did I know that Vincent would stick his index finger all the way in his mouth. He does it constantly. He gags himself so much, and throws up sometimes from it. It is hard to not let it bother me.

Vincent is trying so hard to roll over now. He can get his top half rolled over, just can't figure out how to move his butt and legs over.
As you guys know, I hosted my sisters baby shower this past sunday.  This was probably the worse baby shower that I ever attended. I had to take Vincent because his daddy was still at work. Then the lady that let us use her house let her one and two year old get into everything, including an ash tray they dumped in my carseat. And my sister's son was there  throwing stuff around the baby repeatedly. I spent my whole time watching kids. It was not enjoyable!

Father's Day

I posted on here about Mother's Day so I am going to posted about Father's day also. So here I go. I know Jake got me a mother's day card. That is all he did for me that day. I forgot to tell him happy Father's Day when he left for work at 4am. He came home and told me that my grandma text him and said happy Father's Day. I was like "oh I'm sorry I forgot to this morning." He looks at me and says "yeah I know, I got you a card and you can't even say it." Uh first off he didn't do anything for me on Mother's day and second off he doesn't even help with the baby so why should he deserve a day to celebrate being a dad.
Here is a picture of Vincent and his dad a while back.

Planning a Baby Shower

My sister is having her third child but first daughter next month. I decided that since she never had a baby shower and this is her first daughter, I would throw her a baby shower. A lot of family is against it because my sister doesn't have custody of her boys. I believe that she it's straightening out her life and have faith that she will be able to keep her daughter and get the boys back. She decided last minute to have a baby shower and I made sure me and her friends got together as soon as possible to start planning. Unfortunately, that meeting didn't accomplish much. Them I find out that she hasn't sent it the invitations with only 13 days before the shower. I talked her into changing the date so that more people will be able to attend. The short if more scheduled for the 24th and I have bought decorations and prizes got the games. Her friend, who's house we will be using, is buying food and choosing games.  Planning this  baby shower has been pretty hard with a baby that demand a lot of attention and prefers to not be out of his swing much. We have everything planned out now. I am crocheting my niece a cute little blanket. The yarn is pink, white and tan, so when crocheted it looks like pink camoflauge. It will be absolutely adorable when finished. Vincent is doing great. He is learning more and more how to use his hands to grab stuff. He tends to pull a blanket up when he is cold, he also figured out how to grab a hold of me when nervous or scared. I continue to love him more and more each day. I am happy to wake up every morning to him smiling at me from his swing. 8 Things You Should Never Say To Your Husband

Playing House

My dad text me on Friday and told me he was going out of town. He wanted to know if me, Jake, and the baby would stay at his house while he was away. I agreed so that someone was there to take care of his dog, puppy and fish. My brother stayed to keep me company while Jake was at work. However, my brother was usually across the street or upstairs. I really enjoyed having the whole house to ourselves instead of just the attic. When the baby fell asleep I could actually sit in another room and relax. He makes a lot of sounds in his sleep so I just stare at him when we're home. I would go check on him every few minutes, though. I didn't get to cook, which shockingly I wanted to, because everything in that house was way post the expiration date :( House sitting made me want a job ten times more because Jake always says that when I get a job we will move out. I just can't seem to get one in this darn economy. Vincent is discovering both his hands and feet right now and it's so cute when he just stares at them. What's Your Parenting Style?

Formula Feeding

I went to the wonderful amusement park known as Cedar Point, on Saturday. I left Vincent with my grandma for the day. I pumped roughly every four hours. However the next day, he kept crying after he was done eating. I went to pump my left boob as it  has a cut so I can't feed him on it. I only got half an oz. I decided in a few hours to check hire much the other was making. It gave me the same. No wonder he kept crying, his stomach was still empty. I had to change him over to formula to be sure he is eating enough. I never liked breastfeeding, it ties you down and makes your boobs uncomfortable. Even if that wasn't the case, Vincent only lets me hold him when he eats. Now that we switched to formula, I'm afraid that since anyone can feed him that he won't want me any more. So I just keep crying on and off today. It's not bad enough that I keep thinking about how bad formula is compared to breastmilk. I am not dissing anyone that does formula feeding, its just breastmilk is healthier. At least when I gave him the first bottle of formula he seemed happy.

Feeling like a single mom

I just have to say single moms deserve a lot more credit than they get. I live with my boyfriend and we're always together. Yet, I am still taking care of the baby alone. I understand he goes to work super early in the morning, so that's why he don't help at night. However, he is usually home around noon. Thats 8-10 hours that he could help me and let me get a break but he rather play video games. He gets one day off a week, hasn't been home on that day since Vincent was born. He's always volunteering to help remodel his brothers house. The other day we were at the store and some how him not helping came up in conversation. He said he's always at work so it's not his fault. I simply replied 'You are home an entire day once a week' he turned to me and said 'what use my one day to myself?' Obviously I wanted to punch him in the face but since e were in the check out I just yelled 'where the hell is my day to myself?' He didn't reply until we got out to the car with 'if you want a day to yourself take him to your grandmas, they volunteered to watch him when ever'
I feel like he doesn't understand. He got me a mothers day card that made it sound like he understands but then the very next day did that! Everytime I tell him I need him to help more he laughs like I'm joking. Then tells me to just ask if I need help. When I ask for help he doesn't do it!

Btw he asked what I'm doing I told him I'm updating my blog. He asked how much bad stuff about him I put on here. I told him a lot and he laughed. So he knows how much he upsets me.

My First Mothers Day

This morning at 4:30am I woke up and realised I fell asleep feeding Vincent. I laid my hand on his stomach like I always do when he sleeps with me. I noticed he wasn't breathing. I started patting him and jiggling him trying to wake him up. This is when I start crying. I picked him up as I was going to wake Jake but as I picked him up he opened his eyes and started crying. What a start to my first mothers day.
Jake is working today so I don't get a break. My day has been good though. Vincent  has been quiet and behaving all day. Before Jake left for work he handed me an envelope that said Mommy. I opened it up and it was the sweetest mothers day card.

I Told Them So.

On Thursday evening, I decided to take Vincent for a walk around the neighborhood. When we was getting ready to go, he started screaming. Jake's mom asked me how often he screams like that and I told her it's about 80% of the time. We took our walk and when we came back Jake's mom and dad started lecturing us about how something is wrong with him. I kept saying I didn't think there was. He's my son and I'm always with him, I know him best. They kept going on to Jake as I went to another room to feed Vincent. I could hear them talking about how irresponsible we are being for not taking him to the hospital. I had an emotional break down because it was making me feel like a bad mother. After Vincent  finished eating, I tried to sit in living room with them but just couldn't. I told them I was going up to our room to put Vincent in the swing. I put Vincent in the swing and just broke down. When Jake came up, I buried my face in my knees so he wouldn't see me cry but he already knew. He told me that we were taking Vincent to hospital the next day so his parents can be sure that there was nothing wrong.

The next day, I called the pediatrician and explained that Vincent is screaming nonstop all the time. They had me bring him in so they could check him out. As I had told them nothing is wrong with him. They said he might be colic. However, he has a tooth trying to come through. When we told Jake's parents that the doctor said nothing is wrong with him they made up excuses like 'they didn't do every test, so they don't know if anything is wrong'. My goodness. I'm not a bad mom and I know nothing is wrong with my baby!