38 Weeks and 4 days!

       Today I am 38 weeks and four days pregnant and learned that I am not as ready to have the baby as I thought I was. Two days ago I had a doctor appointment and my blood pressure was really high. The nurse had me lay on my left side for 10-15 minutes to see if my blood pressure would go back down where it should be. Thankfully, it did go back down. They sent me home with instructions to call if I were to notice a difference in my eye sight, got a bad headache or noticed excess swelling. Five hours later I was watching New Girl on Fox, when my vision went really bad. At first I was unable to see anything that wasn't directly in front of me. After about ten minutes, that went away but I started to see gold spots. I waited a half hour and it hadn't gone away so I called the doctor office they told me to come in immediately. On the way to the hospital, I started to get extremely scared and realized I was not as ready to have my son as I thought I was. All I could think was 'give me just a few more days or even a couple weeks.' I guess nobody is really ever ready to have their first child when it comes down to it but I thought I was until then. I have his section of the bedroom finished and everything that I need to take care of him, I'm just not emotionally ready. I will have to get over that obviously because he will come whenever he wants to, not when I want him too. Don't get me wrong I am entirely excited to be having my son within the next few weeks. I already love him more than anything and can't wait to see what he looks like.